Practical Psychology

SAM'S JOURNEY TOWARDS ILLUMINATION

We have all met people who are so prickly and difficult that no one wants to handle them. In most situations walking away is n option, and you escape with no more than ruffled feathers. But some situations are inescapable. You can wait until the thorny personality is gone and moan,"He's just impossible", to a friend. Far better though, it's time to begin skills in practical psychology.

First, take responsibility for your part of the interaction. Animosity is created in your own heart. Even the most impossible person had a mother, and was loved by somebody. If you can deal with your own reaction and take responsibility for it, no other step is more productive.

Detachment is always the best response, because if you can interact without having a reaction, you will be clear-headed enough to make progress in relating to this difficult person.
We all tend to use descriptive words loosely, but it helps to know exactly what is going on.

Clinging types - want to be taken care of and loved. They feel weak and are attracted to stronger people. If desperate, they will cling to anyone. Clinging types cannot be handled with avoidance. They are like Velcro and will stick to you every time you get close. They ignore a polite no, but you can't use direct rejection without making an enemy. Neutrality hurts their feelings and makes them feel insecure.